Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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