I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
