Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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