Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
