i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
