you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
