Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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