Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
