All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
