when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
