Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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