I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
