Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
