I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
