I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
