Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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