Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
