It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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