I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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