So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
