we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
