We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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