Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize