I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
