Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
