just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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