the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
