Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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