It was confusing and full of hummus
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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