why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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