your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
