I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
