you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
