how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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