i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
