Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
