Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There's always time for handjobs
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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