so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize