And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
