dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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