I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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