More tranny stories later!
You work out of a Hotel?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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