Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
