I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
