So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
