sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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