I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
