Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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