the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
