Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
MIDGETS
????
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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