i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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