My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
