Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish I only lived at night.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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