We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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