vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
