That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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