I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
