Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
