Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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